Catch Up

I feel as though I have been in zombie mode for the last year and a half.  This last surrogacy was an amazing ride but it really took a lot out of me.  I planned on blogging about the last few weeks of the pregnancy and adding pics along the way but never got around to it so tonight I'm playing catch-up! 

At 32 weeks Helena met us at the airport and flew home with the kids and I.  It was so fun being there with her and getting to know her better! I cherished every moment.  Though there were rough times missing Joe and being away from home, Helena took good care of us and helped me with the kiddos a ton.  It was nice being taken care of especially with carrying such precious cargo.  Over the next few weeks Helena and I had 2 ultrasounds and 1 none-stress test.  Everything looked perfect.  My only worry was that Amira (baby B) was stubbornly staying breach despite all my frantic baby spinning efforts.  Our Dr. agreed to perform a version (manual turning of the baby) after Zaki was born but if that failed, I would have to receive a section!! I was of course worried but decided that there was no point in stressing about it so I just tried to think happy thoughts and imagine myself having the perfect birth. Joe flew out and spent two long weekends with us before the birth rolled around.  The time we had there in SF as a family was precious   While we were apart we appreciated each other more which I am so grateful for now!

35 weeks

Here is the full long gory story of the twins birth... feel free to take a potty break and pop some popcorn. Its a doozy! On October 30th Helena took me to get a Massage at the four seasons!.  It had been a very generous gift for me from her sister sister in law! At that point I was 36.3 days pregnant. I went in for the massage and my masseuse explained that part of the time I would be on my side and part on my back. I figured this person should know that a pregnant women should not be on her back for more than 5 minutes at a time. Well the massage started and I was so distracted that it took me a while to realize that I had been on my back for a really long time and my lower belly was really sore.  I was getting ready to say something when he had me roll over on my side.  But I was only there for a about 15 minutes when he put me back on my back .  By the time the massage was over, my belly was really sore. The contractions started as soon as I got in the car to go home.   At first i thought they were just braxtons but then realized after about an hour that they were rhythmic and not stopping   I told Helena that I was going to lay down because I was having contractions.  That actually made them stronger so Helena made arrangements for a friend to come watch my kids while I gathered things for my hospital bag.  It was around my kiddos bed time so I helped put them to bed and we made our way to the hospital at 9pm.  

3 hours before delivery!

Just as we were leaving my contractions really started to pick up.  I reclined in the car and was moaning and breathing through the contractions.  Each turn and stop was painful.  When we got to the hospital I was starting to enter "labor land" (kneeling down and rocking on all fours during contractions) so I was really annoyed when they wanted to hook me up and monitor the babies for 30 minutes! I was ready to find a comfortable position and concentrate on giving birth!  I insisted on laying on my side as much as possible during the monitoring which helped get me through the contractions.  The monitor was distracting so labor slowed down a bit. The Dr. on call Came in and talked me into getting the epidural. She told me she would not deliver the second baby breech so I would need a section if the version didn't work. At this point she checked me and I was 5 centimeters dilated. Finally everyone left and labor really took off!!!  I was  having to do deep breathing and focus during the hugs and though I wasn't timing them they felt back to back. Helena was noticing too but the nurse (who was still coming in and asking random questions) was completely oblivious.
Around 10:30ish (i'm guessing on time) they asked me if I wanted to walk or ride a wheel chair up to the OR floor. At that point I had just started to notice that I was becoming queezy and shaky, a sure sign that I was entering transition. I told her I couldn't get up So they calmly wheeled my bed up to a prep room on the OR floor and got ready to put an IV in. When we got to the room I had two contractions and knew I was definitely in transition.  The nurse trying to put the IV in kept telling me to make a fist but I had suddenly become so weak I could barely squeeze my hand! On her first try she blew a vein which normally would probably hurt but at that point I was getting ready to push a baby out so I barely noticed. Another more experienced nurse came over and got the IV in. During this I was now yelling and growling through my contractions! At one point I remember blurting out in between contractions "if you want me to have the epidural it needs to happen now" Things were moving really really fast!  Then I felt something oozing, I said I think I'm leaking something so someone took a peek and there was a lot of bloody show. Then another contraction came and it sounded like I was pushing through it as I growled my way through it. I heard someone in the hall say "what was that" and my nurse responds.. my patient, we need a Dr. In here NOW! The next few minutes were sort of a blur. my bed was suddenly flying down the hallway with a flurry of people running with us shouting orders.

We get into the OR and I'm still laying on my side. They tell me to climb onto the operating table and I shout NO!  One nurse keeps saying... 'You need to cooperate'! (I still suspicion that women has never given birth) I wanted to be a good patient but the pain and intense pressure I was feeling was almost unbearable! I was giving birth for goodness sakes, and not floating in water like I would have preferred! I was laying on an uncomfortable stiff bed in a bright room with people yelling at me! I literally could not move! All the blood was leaving my arms and legs making them tingle. I couldn't move my fingers at all and my hands were all curled up. This happens to me when the baby is traveling down the birth canal for some strange reason. Finally they could tell I wasn't going to move so they moved the blanket I was on to get me over. Ouch!!

Helena told me later that one of the nurses asked her to tell me to cooperate!! Lol. Once I was on the table they told me to roll onto my back and put my feet in the stirrups. I yelled back, Just hold my leg up! The baby was coming and I could not move! Then I felt his head crowning and I pushed as hard as I could. The Dr. grabbed my legs, turning me on my back and put my feet in the stirrups, super OUCH!! Then I pushed baby boys head out. I was ready to get him all out in one push but they told me to stop because his cord was too tight. I waited as long as I could but when the next contraction came I HAD to push and she must have loosened it because the rest of his body came shooting out. I gasped in relief!!! WOW! Helena was right there next to my head and she leaned over and kissed me a few times on the forehead. It was such a relief to temporarily have the pain gone that it shocked me when my Dr. Shoved her hand up there not so gently. Without even thinking I took my foot and kicked her hand out. And yelled..Ouch! Get out of there!! I mean come on! NO warning or nothing?!? I don't think she's used to a drug free labor

So my Dr. Explains that she needs to be in there while they turn the second baby. I'm still at a loss as to why she would need her arm (almost up to her armpit)  up there.  They grab the ultrasound machine and start trying to figure out where baby girl is. She was laying transverse head on my left and butt to the right. I was yelling in pain with the two nurses punching my belly and the Dr. With her arm up there. I knew they would section me if they couldn't turn baby girl so I tried my hardest to just lie as limp as possible. I asked a few times about baby boy and Helena assured me he was fine. I was surprised she was still there supporting me and told her to go check on her baby. She asked me if I was sure and I said yes! Go!  She had waited so long for these babies and yet there she was comforting me. I get teary eyed thinking about it.  She was only gone for a minute then came back with baby boy. She took a picture of him and I... I'm so out of it I'm cross eyed! haha

As they were rubbing the ultrasound wand around I realized my bladder was so full it was painful. Just then a nurse pushed on the top of my uterus down with a fist. OUCH!! I tried peeing but couldn't so I said.. please just catheter me! The dr. said yeah! that would give baby's head more room to come down (Duh:) Helena told me later that she was horrified at what they were doing to my belly! She wanted to tell them to be careful because her baby was still in ther! Finally, after about 10 minutes of manipulating my belly, I heard some one say "She's head down"! Yes!!!! The Dr said.. "Ok, now lets break her water so baby doesn't float back up". She reached up there and tried breaking the water. That really hurt! I said... Ouch, use the crochet hook! It took her a minute of rooting around in there and finally there was a huge explosion of water. with a huge gush my uterus gave an enormous lurch. Helena grabbed my hand and I squeezed as hard as I could because my body was pushing baby girls head out.  It was so fast and intense! (Partly because a nurse was still pushing down on the top of my belly with all her might so baby girl wouldn't float back up) Her little head popped out followed very closely by her body. Ah! Sweet relief! The Dr. Investigated and told me that I had one little tear not even big enough to stitch. YAY! Just when I thought the pain was over my Doc reached in there again!  I said ouch what are you doing?! She told me that she needed to get the placentas out. What?!? I said.. I can push them out. Then she reached in and scooped them out one at a time. Maybe she forgot I didn't have the epidural ouch! Unwilling to even let me deliver my own placentas! sheesh.   

Helena was still there with me. I asked her about baby girl and she assured me everything was fine. I was on cloud nine!  Laying there shivering, half naked, half covered in blood and amniotic fluid all I could think was I DID IT!!  I couldn't believe how fast everything went and the stars aligned in such a way that I didn't need a c-section! Both babies were beautiful and doing amazing! The birth wasn't ideal but I got the natural (or rather drug free) birth that I had been praying for!!! Woohoo! I learned in the recovery room that baby boy weighed 5.9 and girly was  just under 5 pounds.  They were born 12 minutes apart. 

baby girl

Helena's late husbands parents flew in the night after we went home. His mother came in and thanked me and we just stood there crying and holding each other. I don't know what it's like to lose a son but I have seen how much my parents have suffered loosing my brother. These babies must be such a miracle to them. I am so honored to have been a part of that!! Helen, who I have grown very close to over the last four weeks was now a mommy!!! It was just me and her for the birth and she was the best support I could have asked for!  It was so amazing being there with her and experiencing everything with her. I was given the chance to stay and nurse the babies.  That was a new adventure all in its own.  I loved seeing them everyday and spending time with them, watching them grow.  They would nurse every two hours like clock work so I was exhausted to say the least but I wouldn't have traded it for the world! After two weeks I felt pretty much back to normal! Joe and I could put the kids to bed and go for walks in down town SanFran.  We had so much fun! I was there nursing 6 weeks so a total of 10 weeks away from home.  We flew home just in time for Christmas. I continued to pump for the twins for  two months. I am so thankful that I was able to produce enough for them. 

I still can't believe its all over! would I do it again... absolutely! What an amazing adventure and an experience I will forever cherish.  I thank my lucky stars that Helena found me and trusted me enough to give life to her embryos! What an honor! I will never forget Helena and her precious babies or how her and her family have touched our lives forever!